I had my first counseling session with Erin from hospice. She really helped me and I feel much better.
A few things she said that helped:
It's okay to still be an optimist even if it's just focusing my hope on something like...I hope he doesn't suffer.
She asked what brought me the most comfort. I told her it's my spirituality and my belief that Mitt and I will always be connected; she reminded me to go to that place and those thoughts when I feel overwhelmed with sadness.
She advised me to sit down with Mitt and go over everything financial to show him I can handle it and I will be okay. Even though we've had many finance talks, I think this was great advice because Mike has always been so financially focused and I have not. So I'm sure he will appreciate my efforts in one more very detailed financial talk.
She recommended I keep a journal to help me get my emotions out and because reading back over my thoughts and feelings can be healing. This just happened to me; two days ago I found something I wrote last year after Mike's dad, Paul passed away and it brings me tremendous comfort now.
Another thing she mentioned was that it was really important for young children to receive grief counseling because they don't have the tools to process their grief. She said she is available for all of our family or friends who feel they need to talk to someone.
There are many grief counseling groups available and I'm sure I'll be going to a few of them. I can also call Erin anytime I want to and that's comforting to know.
Oh yeah and she even answered my big question of "Why?" I actually in some odd way liked her answer. She said; "We're not suppose to know, it's supposed to be a mystery." I guess I liked her answer because I believe some things are for us to discover later and the best thing we can do is just trust God and ourselves, while we allow and accept the way our lives unfold.
I really connected to Erin and felt very comfortable sharing with her. After asking just a few key questions I think she had us figured out. I felt blessed after my time with her and I am very grateful.
Love to you all, Chris
I like her answer to "why?" too. I love God but I do not always understand His ways and I guess I'm not supposed to.
ReplyDeleteI am happy for the comfort that Erin brought you.
Love you!
Thanks for sharing sister.
ReplyDeleteSeveral things you wrote hit home with me. The grief of children is very real, when our sister Susan passed all those years ago (I was 6 yrs. old) I was very bitter about losing my best friend, even then I felt she knew me better than I knew myself. It took me a couple of decades to figure out what I had been dragging around with me.
One of my fellow yogi's Doctor John is a source of wisdom and I often seek his thought's to life's challenges. I asked him "WHY?" His response was the same as Erin's "We aren't suppose to know, it's a mystery" and he added this. When you meet your maker ask that question and I am certain you will receive the answer.
Looking back on my life that appears to be true. When the time is right we will receive the answer.
Stay Strong Sister and when it's time to Cry.....Cry
Tears are the Shower of the SOUL.
I LOVE Sister Chris and Brother Mike
Always,
Steve
I'm glad talking to Erin has brought you some peace. I have tried to think of things to say to you that will help you, but I can never come up with anything that seems appropriate. Just know that your family and friends love you and Mike and we will do anything we can to help. There isn't a day or even an hour that goes by that one of us isn't thinking about you and praying for you. Michelle and Dale
ReplyDeleteThankyou for shareing this, I really needed to hear what you had to share. You are so courageous and are taking such good care of Mike. I still know God is going to heal him and all this will be a distant memory. Thanks again for sharing I have been asking why and now I know that I'm not suppose to know why. love you lots Pam
ReplyDeleteWe are so happy to hear about your first visit with Erin and look forward to meeting her. I am so proud of you momma. You are an amazing woman and such an inspiration.
ReplyDeletelove, L+B
Chris, I am so glad that you were able to meet with Erin, and that you feel such a rapport. It is so difficult for most of us to find the right words, and I sometimes find, even though I am a nurse, that I am a better listener & sounding board than a counselor.It is difficult for even me to say "I understand". Although we lost Mom so very quickly when her pancreatic cancer was finally diagnosed, this is different because this is your husband & the love of your life -different from the loss I (we) experienced... I do know that with time, came some perspective, & I did come to see the time with her as a gift... I pray that you are getting lots of support and we ask Our Lord for Mike's comfort everyday!
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